Is the devil trying to make you feel guilty?

Once you become a Christian, you are going to face — and possibly lose — a battle that you may not even know is heading your way.

What is that battle, you ask? (And don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you can lose your salvation.)

What I am suggesting is that once you become alive, once you’ve encountered the Holy of Holies, once you’ve had your life rocked (or even returned to God after running from him and backsliding), you’ve become a foot soldier for Christ.

You are as white as snow and you want to spread the Gospel. You want to save the world! You often become that annoying Christian that won’t stop talking about this new life.

You have the faith of a child and you’ve been so close to the source that you can’t imagine wanting to stray even a single foot from that light.

Photo by Cdoncel on Unsplash

But when this happens, you’ve placed a great target on your chest. And Satan has to remove you from the battlefield.

And so usually, without really knowing it, you leave the cocoon of the church to return home and it’s there that the small, barely noticeable battles begin.

The devil will use everything against you. He will use friends, family, the (sinful) environment you lived comfortably in just an hour before, your career, the Netflix series you were addicted to, your habits, such as alcohol, drugs, porn, you name it.

The list is long, and as a Christian, you begin the process of sanctification and regeneration. It becomes an eye-opening experience, like walking into your own house with a fresh set of eyes after two years of being gone. All you can see is dust, cluttered piles, dirty floors, things that need to be fixed, etc.

And you begin with much energy and enthusiasm. You start watching how you talk, you ditch cursing, and you allow God to show you all the ways you’re falling short.

Some people don’t win this battle. There’s that one thing you can’t let go of. That one sin you can’t beat. And so the seed falls on rocky ground and withers.

The past two years, since my return to faith, I’ve been trying my best to grow closer to God and clean up my own house. To rid my life of sin and develop new daily disciplines where I seek God, read my Bible, worship Him in church, grow closer to fellow believers, etc.

My entire life has been transformed and re-routed, and it’s been the past month or so that I realized that the devil found another way to attack me.

It was as if he said, “Oh, he’s increasingly ignoring the sin traps. He’s pretty dad-gone serious about cleaning up his life.”

And the devil found a way to use reverse psychology on me.

Part of my spiritual growth that I mentioned above has led to me creating a prayer list on Google docs, which my overly-organized brain thought would be a great idea (probably more than a year ago). 🤣

The plus side is it has helped me remember who I needed to be praying for, as I've tried to become a better prayer warrior. On good nights, I scan it before I sleep and try to pray for those on the list. And by doing that, I remember them throughout the day, which can lead to me checking on them and all kinds of good things, of course.

But the devil has increasingly used this prayer list as a way to wound me. On the days that I DON'T review it and systematically do my best to pray for folks, I feel guilty. And the devil really piles on. 

The other issue is the list keeps getting longer. Many of these with cancer and other things, obviously don't pass quickly and so the list grows longer and longer. And then I'll sometimes remove a name of someone because I literally can’t even get an update on how they’re doing. (For instance, my stepson had a friend who’s Mom had cancer — quite serious — but he doesn’t talk to that friend anymore. And this has been for quite a while since he’s talked with him. And so it’s hard to pray for someone when I don’t know how they’re doing.)

But the devil really hammered me over this. “Oh, Stan, you believe in the power of prayer but you’re literally giving up on this person?” Or, “Oh, Stan, you have this list and you didn’t pray over it last night?

And Satan has been HAMMERING me over this for a few weeks.

I’d feel so guilty the nights I’d fall short and the devil would try to use it as a wedge the next day. “Oh, Stan, why are you bothering to read the Bible today? You haven’t prayed over that list in two days…”

Maybe this sounds silly to you, but it was really starting to bother me. (And it didn’t pass. It in some ways, only got worse.)

So after several weeks, I finally relented and reached out to one of my church pastors (Pastor Bryan Thomas), explaining the situation.

And what he said rocked my world. And I’m sharing it today (with his permission) in the hopes that it might help you if the devil is trying to make you feel guilty (all emphasis and bolding is mine).

Thank you so much for the update. I am glad to hear how God is growing and pressing you! I can absolutely relate with those feelings. I think keeping a prayer list is a great discipline because it allows you to follow up with those hurting in a fallen world. I’ve experienced the overwhelming feeling you have expressed. My initial thought and what I often have to remind myself… I am not God.

He is able to hear and care for every prayer request all at the same time. He is able to carry them. He is able to answer them. He is infinite. I am finite. Remembering this allows me to pray and care for “the list” as best as I can while constantly acknowledging that God has to hold it all. 1 Peter 5:7 comes to mind… “casting all your anxieties on him, because HE cares for you.” 

David Murray wrote a great book called Reset where he discusses burnout. I highly recommend it if you have the chance. He writes that motivating grace leads us to pray and to work. Motivating grace says, “Christ died for me so I am going to live for him!” However, moderating grace says, “Christ accomplished all things so I do not have to.” The first gets you out of bed in the morning (or to your prayer list!) and the second gets you to bed on time. Let God carry you and all of those requests that you write down. Only he can answer them and he carries the burden.

We just get to join him by praying as an act of worship and dependance! I hope this makes sense and is helpful.

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I hope Pastor Bryan’s words help you the way they’ve helped me. (And the way they’ve already helped one person I work with, who I’ve already shared them with.)

Do not let the devil shame you into feeling unworthy.

You are a child of God (I hope). You live in a fallen world. You are called to be holy, but you are going to be daily engaged in spiritual warfare and temptations.

Do not let the tempter convince you that you are doing too little.

I’m learning that if he can’t get through your shield from the front, he will come at you from behind.

Lord, please let these words touch someone out there. Let them heal someone of their pain and lead them closer to You. Help your servants, Lord. Help us as we try to honor You and follow You. Help us, Lord, as we try to magnify Your name. Use us to reach a fallen world and plant seeds in Your Holy Name. We ask this in the Holy Name of Jesus. Amen.

To God be the glory,

Stan R. Mitchell

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